Is it still funny? After your jokes and constant teasing was this what you were after? Well tell me was it? Because this is the result; after being clean for so long you broke me…you broke me and you aren’t even happy? Well to bad I guess no one is happy. Stop the teasing and the bullying it’s not funny. The F in FAT doesn’t stand for Funny. You are a bully a monster let it haunt you for the rest of your life that you are the cause of someone else’s suffering. What you hate so much you became. However, I wish you the best in life. (Don’t let depression or eating disorders ruin you)

Anorexia is not a trend. Anorexia is a monster. Don’t be like me and treat her like an ideal you are stronger than me. You will get out of this; don’t let anorexia take you. Don’t become anorexia. 

I fell into a dangerous game with ana. 

Dear followers, 

My name is Cristina Martinez and I’m anorexic. I’m hurting on the inside I’m tired and sick and to be quite honest I’m fighting for my life. I’m fighting for my reason to live. I haven’t lost hope, not yet, not today.

I stopped trying to please everyone and I instantly became happier. This is life. I am not depression I am me. I matter. You can’t tear me down with your words I am strong and you wont hold me down. Not today. Not ever. 

I wasted so much of my life on counting. I counted: calories/ foot steps/ breaths/ cuts/ failures/ pounds/ inches/ scars/ people/ tears. I counted—I still count,  but I count: smiles/ laughs/ jokes/ friends/ happiness. 

I want you all to know you are all safe here, and I won’t judge you for who you are or what you are. I want you to let out your feelings if needed, just so you can feel better in the end!

I don’t want you to be afraid to ask me anything, I am here for you all and want you all  to Stay Strong. <3

I want you guys to blow up my inbox with letting out all your feelings for all I care, as long as you all feel better in the end. Its always a huge step to ask for help, and know I am here to help you. Please, stay strong sugarcubes, I am here to help for ANYTHING AND EVERYONE, no matter what. <3

Run until your legs feel like lead. Purge until you’re gasping for breath. Cut until the pain is gone. Cry until it’s all over. Sleep until the nightmare passes. Dance until you’re dizzy. Kiss until you love. Breath until you feel normal. Push until someone pulls. Pretend until it’s real. Stop eating until they notice. 

Mom: Can you please eat?

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I’m scared. I’m scared that one day my eating disorder is going to kill me. I’m scared of going to sleep because I don’t know if it’ll be my last. I’m scared, but I’m more scared of stopping. 

I’m a joke

I’m to the point where I feel like crying every second. I don’t even care if my makeup smears anymore. I’m strange and I’m screwed up. I don’t know what is wrong with me anymore.

I don’t want to tell anyone. I can hear insults in my head and they get louder and louder as the day goes on.

I can’t help but cut. My best friend has begged me to stop but they don’t get it they don’t understand the horrible feeling I feel in the middle of my chest. I don’t know if I can take it anymore.